myblog

I'll have to remind myself

I'll have to remind myself everyday to write. I don't know what I have to say, but I know there's something there! Being unemployed feels like it sucks out my creativity, which is totally weird, because I have a ton of free time to do whatever I want.

I noticed it was very cool today though (I was actually cold) and I thought "Autumn is approaching," whihc kind of prompted to at least provide a bit of news to people.

• I'm a married woman now! :o It's true. We were officially engaged in December of last year and got married on July 2nd. 
• I do, in fact, live in Germany now. We live in a small apartment in Marburg, which is about an hour north of Frankfurt.
• I've been unemployed for a while now. I only received my work permit a few weeks ago though, so hopefully soon I can find a job. The only problem is... I have no idea what I want to do, or what I'm even able to do...
• A friend of ours, named Sigmundur (or Simmi, as we call him), is visiting from Iceland. He's been here two weeks now, and is going home on Monday. We were in France for a week, where I didn't have any internet.
• I don't really know what I believe at the moment (and have been pretty confused about all that for a long time now). Since Simmi has been here, I have not faster once yet this Ramadan, but I intend to fast for a few days at least.
• I'm happy in Germany but I  miss my family and if I could, I would book a trip to Florida to see them for Christmas in a heart beat.

Right... more to come later, I promise. But I'll actually write something.

updates and changes

I haven't updated in forever. and do you know why?

It's because I have changed so much in the last years, constantly, that I feel like I let my readers and friends down, or perhaps, I have deceived them. Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going? Why am I even where I am? I don't know. I thought I knew, a while ago. But that was foolish youth, or maybe just a stage. Or maybe I really did know back then, but as times passes, the answers change and if you don't keep up, you don't know them anymore.

Or maybe it's not even the answers at all that matter.

At times I felt like I needed a new blog. Somewhere neutral to post, where I could go back to the safety of anonymity and say whatever I felt like saying. But isn't that just rude to my friends, my family, and everyone else who read what I had to say and commented? I couldn't get past that thought, so I just stopped posting pretty much everywhere.

I started writing again recently, and reading Tarot. It felt good, and it made me realize how much I missed Vox. I considered just making a new Vox and trying as hard as I could stay under the radar and never get any comments at all. But I think that's pretty hard to do on Vox. In many way, it is the antithesis of Vox, which prides itself on its community and networking abilities. 

So, here I am, again. Will you take me as I am?

PS post applies to LJ too, since I'll just cross-post most of them ;)

Moving to Germany November 11th

Sorry I disappeared. I didn't really mean to.

Lots of stuff happened, has been happening, is still happening.

so, yeah. Moving November 11th!

xoxo

is it summer yet?

Originally the plan was only to go to Germany for six weeks this summer. Not that six weeks isn't a long time. Just that that was the plan.

But yesterday Oliver booked my ticket, and I'm going from May 7th to July 23rd.

Even that doesn't seem long enough, but I thought I shouldn't stay the whole summer, what with my sister taking care of the dogs. Actually, I plan on buying enough dog food to last the whole time I'm gone so they don't starve .... =P

I need to get out of here... it's stagnant. I can't breathe here right now, and I don't know who I am anymore and I'm tired of crying all the time.

In the summer we can go to the Stockweier and maybe it won't actually be cold so I can finally swim in the lake. And we can play badminton and Mühle and eat crepes! Then I can forget everything and remember what feeling free is like.

I don't know what's wrong with me so don't ask. I can't write about it or talk about it. I can only cry about it and sometimes it's random and sometimes it's all the time. Even in class, for the whole class. I'm so tired all the time and I haven't gone to Karate in weeks and I don't know how to do statistics or epidemiology anymore and I've already failed Arabic, but I don't even care. Everything makes me either angry or incredibly depressed. It's not that surprising given my past diagnoses but now I don't have health insurance and I really am so afraid of going alone, I wish someone would go with me.

and I feel like an impostor.

Still alive...

hmm, I hate my epidemiology class and I've decided conjugating arabic verbs in the present tense is way too complicated for anyone's good.

Oliver left a couple weeks ago.
Finished my brown belt test...

Some days are ok.

happy happy

Happy Eid, Merry Christmas, etc.

love you all.

QotD: En Route

What is your daily commute like?  What is the weirdest thing you've seen on that commute? 
Submitted by E. 

My commute to university is about 45 minutes each way. I rarely see anything interesting during the commute. Usually, if I see something, it's an accident. Although the other day there was a huge orange thing in the far right lane and it was scary because it was blocking the whole lane, and you couldn't see  from a distance it because it was on a downhill part of the road.

but I do have one story. One day I was driving to school to get to my 8:30am Arabic class when I suddenly noticed a bumper sticker in Arabic. It was a "I [heart] etc." bumpber sticker. Obviously I understood the heart part, because a big red heart is pretty much universal. And I got the "I" part (on the right side of the heart -- remember, Arabic is written right to left). But the problem was the object that was being hearted. I had no idea what it said and I got so caught up in trying to figure it out that I almost crashed into the car in front of me. It was SO SCARY. When I got to class I told my friend Sandra that reading Arabic while driving is a stupid thing to do and it almost got me killed and she looked at me like I was insane. I still have no idea what that number sticker said. (and no, it wasn't "I heart New York" in Arabic.") The end.

Don't Read and Drive.

All I want for Christmas...

In case you didn't notice yet, this is the best evidence out there that I am completely insane.

Me: I want my own horse btw
Oliver: haha. I know
Me: and a bow and arrow
Oliver: you want all kinds of animals and stuff
Me: and then I want to shoot arrows from horseback.
Me: like Link
Me: yeah. that would be awesome.
Oliver: hahaha I think you'll have to do with link's xbow training for Wii 
Me: pfft xbow is for babies 
Oliver: yeah you can't implement bow for the Wii though 
Me: boooooo. the Wii fails

And you think I'm kidding...

(P.S. xbow = crossbow)

A big thank you to Vox (although a little belated)

I guess this is a little late, but I blame the holiday for several different reasons. Anyway:

THANK YOU, VOX!

Thank you for creating a couple of Eid designs for us Muslims who love your site. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
xoxo,
Megan

Seriously irritated, so happy holidays

Ok look. I don't have anything against Diwali. I LOVE religious holidays. I would have gone to temple with my Hindu friends but I had prior engagements.

But SOMEBODY please explain to me WHY Vox made an ENTIRE [thisisgood] post about Diwali, but never mentioned Eid? Not even an Eid banner. Nothing. for God's sake we ALL KNOW they employ at least ONE MUSLIM.

lately I have been really frustrated with Holidays and pop culture. Holidays are great, even religious ones, even the religious ones that are part of religions that are not my own. I think the world would be a happier more peaceful place if everybody took a break from war to celebrate each other's religious holidays from time to time!

Want to do your part to make everyone feel a little happier everyday? For one: Say Good morning to everyone you run into and do it WITH a smile.

THEN, Pay attention to holidays and wish people a happy holiday. If they think you're nuts or they give you a dirty look smile and walk away. Chances are they'll feel like an enormous jerk later.

This season wish your Jewish friends Happy Chanuka. Wish your Christan friends Merry Christmas, wish your Muslim friends Happy Eid-ul-adha. Wish your Wiccan/Neo-Pagan friends Happy Yule. Wish your Sikh friends a happy celebration of the birthday of Guru Nanuk! And if somebody wishes you a happy holiday you don't celebrate SMILE, say a very gracious thank you and wish them the same. IT DOESN'T matter if you don't celebrate it. Say Thank you, for God's sake!

If they invite you, try to make it! If they pray, just pray the way you want to pray or watch quietly!

And if you're not sure when other people are having holidays, check this website.

So, Happy Holidays. now go be joyous.